IN SEARCH

OF ASSURANCE

K.K.ALAVI

IN SEARCH

OF ASSURANCE

K.K. ALAVI

THE GOOD WAY • RIKON/SWITZERLAND

RB 7825 E

All rights reserved

THE GOOD WAY • P.O.BOX 66 • CH-8486 RIKON (SUISSE)

This is my story. But it is not only my story. It is the

story of God's goodness to me: how he loved me and

showed me his salvation. Let me begin at the beginning.

MY CHILDHOOD

I was born on Friday, July 15,1951. My father was a

mulla (a Muslim religious leader) in the small village of

Cherukunnu in the South Indian state of Kerala. Every-

one in the village respected my family because we were

strictly religious. My father's special duty was to read

from the Qur'an in Arabic to our Muslim neighbors. Yet

he did not forget to teach his own children.

I can still remember sitting on my father's knee after

evening prayers, hearing him recite the Qur'an and learn-

ing from him. Every day began and ended with readings.

from the Qur'an and prayers. This strict discipline

affected our whole home life.

At the age of five I went to the nearby madrasa

(Muslim religious school) to learn Arabic, so that I could

study the Qur'an. We also had ordinary lessons. When I

was ten years old, I was sent to a regular school at

Kottakal not far from home, where I studied for a year

and a half. However, I could not finish my education

there for reasons that will become clear.

AN EVENTFUL DAY

One Saturday, the market day at Kollakkal, when I

was going home from school with my friends, we saw a

large crowd in the market place. We went over and found

a group of Christians there. They were telling the crowd

about their faith — stories from the life of Jesus and

selling Christian booklets. At first we laughed at the

Christians and made fun of them. In spite of this, we

bought two of the booklets. Mine was called "The Heart

of Pak" and my friend got one about "The Way pS

Salvation." On the way home we talked about the book-

lets and about Christians. My friend tore his copy into

pieces. I kept my booklet although I despised Christians.

When I reached home, I sat down in a quiet place and

started to read "The Heart of Pak." There was an

interesting conversation in the book between a Christian

and a boy. As I read, I wondered if the Jesus of this

booklet was the same 'Isa whom I knew about as a

prophet. To my mind, the Jesus of this booklet was

different from the Jesus of the Qur'an. Now I read that

this Jesus could forgive sins. Yet this very forgiveness of

Jesus had changed (transformed) the boy, and it made

me love Jesus.

When I read of this boy's spiritual plight, I felt as

though the Christian was speaking to my heart also. In

fact, I considered my heart to be in worse condition than

the heart of this youth. How could t find freedom from

this spiritual disease? The booklet offered the cure. I

rejected it because I had been taught that God alone

forgave sins — not Jesus, the prophet.

Nevertheless, I could not free myself from the strong

argument in the booklet. I became uncomfortably aware

of my own sinfulness. What would become of me when I

died? I could not escape death or the Day of Judgment. I

made up my mind to find out more about Jesus with the

help of a correspondence course advertised in this book-

let.

FURTHER STUDY

The correspondence course center promptly sent the

course. Unfortunately, the postman delivered it to my

uncle to give to me. He opened it and discovered its

Christian contents. The next day he showed it to my

father and my uncles. They decided to end this study

before it began!

That same evening when I came back from school, my

father tied me to a pillar of our verandah and beat me

with a stick until I felt weak. The next morning he called

me and spoke lovingly to me; He said, "We Muslims

should not read such books. They are forbidden, espe-

cially the books of the Christians. Since their books are

so attractive, we, too, will become Christians if we read

them. What will happen to our family then? It will ruin

our whole life. Our community will reject us, and it will

be a curse on Islam." I promised my father that I would

never again read these books.

I tore up the booklet and burnt it cursing myself for

failing to do what my friend had done earlier with his

book. From that time on, I became a devout Muslim

reciting daily prayers. Yet as the days went by, I lacked

peace of mind whenever I remembered the booklet and

thought about the condition of my heart.

How could I forget the name "Jesus" when I repeated

it every evening in my recitation of the Qur'an! So I

decided to make a study of Jesus in the Qur'an and in

other Muslim books. I did not know much Arabic, but I

persevered in my study with help of a friend — Yusuf

Mawlawi. He was a Muslim teacher in an Arabic school

near our house and a close friend of our family. I found

that 'Isa has a very important place both in the Qur'an

and in the Hadith or Muslim tradition. In the Qur'an it

seemed to me, 'Isa was even more important than my

prophet Muhammad. Soon both the teacher and my

family became suspicious about my desire to learn more

about Isa. They gently suggested that I concentrate more

on Muhammad. Still I continued to wonder about those

Quranic passages which referred to Jesus, to his unique

birth, and to his marvelous deeds.

"(And remember) when the angels said: O Mary! Lo!

Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a word from Him,

whose name is the Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, illustri-

ous in the world and the Hereafter, and one of those

brought near (unto Allah).

He will speak unto mankind in his cradle and in his

manhood, and he is of the righteous.

She said: My Lord! How can I have a child when no

mortal hath touched me? He said: So (it will be). Allah

createth what He will. If He decreeth a thing, He saith

unto it only: Be! and it is.

And He will teach him the Scripture and wisdom, and

the Torah and the Gospel.

And will make him a messenger unto the Children of

Israel, (saying): Lo! I come unto you with a sign from

your Lord. Lo! I fashion for you out of clay the likeness

of a bird, and I breathe into it and it is a bird, by Allah's

leave. I heal him who was born blind, and the leper, and I

raise the dead, by Allah's leave. And I announce unto

you what ye eat and what ye store up in your houses. Lo!

herein verily is a portent for you, if ye are to be believers.

And (I come) confirming that which was before me of

the Torah, and to make lawful some of that which was

forbidden unto you. I come unto you with a sign from

your Lord, so keep your duty to Allah and obey me."

(3:45-50)

I noticed also that the Qur'an refers especially to the

Tawrat (Old Testament) and the Injil (New Testament),

exhorting me to believe in them because they are "guid-

ance and light" (5:46). Another verse in particular came

to my mind often:

"And if thou art in doubt (Muhammad) concerning

that which We reveal unto thee, then question those who

read the Scripture before thee..." (10:94)

When I read this verse, I remembered the Christians

and their booklet. According to Islam, Christians also

are ahl ul-kitab (the People of the Book). If the Qur'an

encouraged Muhammad to share his doubts with Chris-

tians, then why not me? Yet it was difficult for me to

approach Christians. I had so little contact with them.

Besides, my family would hardly approve!

Not far from my home there is a Christian Mission

Hospital. One day a friend, Abdulla, and I determined to

go there secretly. When we arrived the hospital pharma-

cist, Mr. Kunyukunyu, kindly directed us to the mission-

ary. We were young and nervous and did not know what

to expect. But the missionary greeted us in a friendly way

and made us feel at ease.

After some discussion the missionary suggested that

we attend Sunday School classes and directed us to the

Christian reading room. There we met the reading-room

worker. Later he became my very close friend and a true

brother who helped me in many troubles. He enrolled

me in a correspondence course based on the Gospel

according to John. Both Abdulla and I attended Sunday

School for several weeks without the knowledge of our

parents. Sometimes my friend kindly gave us bus fare;

sometimes we walked the five mile distance. On one

occasion some of our neighbors caught us. They ques-

tioned Abdulla and beat him until he finally revealed our

secret activity.

Next evening, when I returned from school, I saw my

mother and younger sister crying: They knew what my

father had already prepared for me. As I entered the

house, my father suddenly appeared, shouting. He

caught me, tied me up, put me against a wall, beat me

and rubbed ground, green chili on my face and in my

eyes — all the while asking me why I read Christian

books and associated with Christians. My mother faint-

ed. After some time, with the help of a neighbor woman

and my sister-in-law, I was taken to a water tank and

washed.

The following morning my father called me and asked

me to repeat the Muslim creed: "There is no god but

Allah and Muhammad is the prophet of Allah." He led

me through the recitation. Then he warned me about

Christianity, its false teaching about Jesus Christ, the

corruption of the Holy Injil and the bad lives of Chris-

tians. He asked my sister-in-law to burn my Christian

books which she did. All this affected me greatly, and I

cried bitterly. I had no peace of mind, for my opportun-

ity to learn more about Jesus from the Gospels and

from Christians friends had been frustrated.

When I went to the place where I burnt "The Heart of

Pak," I sorely regretted the destruction of the booklet.

As I recalled the conversation in this booklet, the same

tension once more confronted me: the boy's joyful expe-

rience of forgiveness and the heavy burden of sin which

lay on my own heart. As a Muslim, I had learned that we

ourselves are responsible for our sins; no one else can

bear another's burden (Qur'an 6:165). Then how, could

Jesus forgive anyone? Nevertheless, I prayed to God for

further guidance.

An awareness of my own sin never left me. It gnawed

at my heart continually. After two weeks, I felt again a

strong desire to see my Christian friends. I had to share

my difficulties and doubts. The missionary encouraged

10

me and answered my questions about Christian beliefs

and practices. Most of his answers satisfied me because

he also knew the Qur'an and Muslim faith.

I returned home with a copy of the whole Gospel

which my friend had given to me. Although I was very

glad to have it, I was afraid that someone at home might

see it. So I put the Injil in a plastic bag and hid it under a

stone in the forest. I often went to the forest to read it,

especially St. John's Gospel. One verse, the words of

Jesus, gave me some consolation:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in

God; trust also in me." John. 14:1

The words "believe also in me" impressed me greatly

at that time. Although I was anxious and troubled, this

verse comforted me.

The next Sunday, while on my way to Sunday School,

I noticed my uncle on the same bus. I trembled at the

thought of what my father would do to me after my

uncle reported to him. In spite of this, I attended Sunday

School and spent some time with the missionary.

Before I met my new Christian friends, I had strong

feelings against Christians because I had heard such bad

reports about them. Yet when I observed the missionary's

character, his way of life, and his attitude toward

Muslims, I knew that the accusations I had heard against

Christians certainly did not apply to him. This made me

think. Was his love greater than that of the Muslims?

Had the Messiah Jesus done more for him than my

prophet had done for me? I was confused for I held the

11

opinion that apart from Muslims, anyone else, including

the Christians who believe that God is the Messiah, is an

unbeliever (kafir) and is rejected by God. As the Qur'an

says:

They surely disbelieve who say: Lo! Allah is the

Messiah, son of Mary. The Messiah (himself) said: O

Children of Israel, worship Allah, my Lord and your

Lord. Lo! Whoso ascribeth partners unto Allah, for him

Allah hath forbidden Paradise. His abode is the Fire. For

evil-doers there will be no helpers.

They surely disbelieve who say: Lo! Allah is the third

of three; when there is no God save the'One God. If they

desist not from so saying a painful doom will fall on

those of them who disbelieve. (5:72, 73)

I remembered also how I thought that because I was a

Muslim who had submitted myself to God, I was holier

than Christians. But as I became more aware of my own

12

sinfulness, I realized that the missionary was the one who

had submitted himself to God, for his character proved

it. I could tell that his love came from Jesus Christ, just as

"The Heart of Pak" had described it.

Like a magnet the love of Jesus attracted me. I

thought that if Jesus were my master too, how I would

love him! Yet, when the idea of becoming a Christian

crossed my mind, I rejected it as an evil thought from

Satan —for I was a Muslim.

I returned from Sunday School in great fear. I was

ready to accept whatever my father did to me, but for

two days nothing happened. On the third day, after

school my father caught me and threw me into a bush.

Then he seized a stick and beat me so severely that I

almost died. My mother ran to rescue me, but she was

beaten also. It was only by the grace of God that I

recovered. Again I confessed the Muslim creed and

promised my father that I would have no more contact

with Christians. Was my confession only an escape from

further beating?

My friend Abdullah had spread this news throughout

the district, and my life became very difficult. People

jeered at me, called me names, and even threw stones at

me. On the way home from school they called out,

"There goes the cursed one!" and "Here comes Mathai,

the Nasrani (Christian)!" Even my relatives, friends, and

teachers were cruel to me. I was confused, weary, lonely,

and troubled. During this period the Holy Gospel was

my only constant companion. Every time I had an

opportunity, I went to the forest to read and study it.

13

Again the old tension arose in my heart as I read the

Gospel in secret. On essential points it clearly differed

from my own Islamic beliefs. How puzzling for a Muslim

and yet how thought-provoking were the following

words of Jesus!

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No-

one comes to the Father except through me."

John 14:6

"Now this is eternal life: that they may know

you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ,

whom you have sent." John 17:3

"Yet to all who received him, to those who

believed in his name, he gave the right to

become children of God." John 1:12

"If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.

My Father will love him, and we will come to

him and make our home with him." John 14:23

I had no one who could explain the meaning of these

verses to me. Yet I continued to ask God for guidance.

CHAINED BY LOVE

The pain and wounds of my body were healed, but the

marks produced by the love of the Christians and the

effects of the booklet remained. I felt something forcing

me to renew this friendship and decided to meet my

friends again. As I set out, relatives and neighbors saw

14

me, and I felt afraid. In fact, I decided to leave that place.

When I reached the home of the missionary, I shared my

problems with him. I showed him the scars of my

wounds and asked him to help me to go to Mysore where

my married sister lived. My sister loved me, and she and

her husband would let me stay there. The missionary,

however, advised me to return home. He told me that

later, when I became older, I could leave. Until then, I

should live quietly at home, and growing in faith and

love, influence my family and friends. God, he said,

would be my Savior, Protector, and Friend. At that time

I was in the seventh standard at school.

Since it was evening and I was afraid, I begged them to

let me stay overnight in the Christian reading-room. I

stayed there an extra day with my friend C.R. George.

Some people from my area, knowing that I was there,

came with the police to get me. They asked my friend to

give me up, and even accused him of kidnapping me. He

replied, " Alavi is here of his own accord. You can take

him, but do not beat him any more." When some

Muslims came to the support of their Christian friends in

the reading-room, a quarrel started among the Muslims

themselves. While they were all arguing, I ran out the

back door and across the field, jumped into a canal, and

pretended that I was taking a bath.

After a while some Muslims came and found me.

They took me to a Muslim reading-room called

"MAPPILA NADU'" where they asked questions,

shouted at me, and abused me. During this time, my

mother had been searching for me in the homes of my

15

relatives. Just at that moment my brother-in-law found

me and rescued me. As soon as we reached home, my

father sent my younger sister to call my uncles. By this

time a crowd of people had gathered in front of my

house.

When they had all come together, my father asked

each one, "What shall we do with Alavi? We have tried

our best to keep him away from Christians. What else

can we do?" The first uncle told my father to kill me by

cutting my throat. The second uncle decisively answered

the same. The third had a different idea. He suggested

death by starvation. If they killed me as my first uncle

had said, the whole family would go to jail. Then my

mother cried out, "Kill me first and then my son!" This

made me cry bitterly. I cannot describe the pain and fear

that was in my heart while I wondered what they would

do to me. Then the group accepted the advice of the third

uncle. One of my uncles then beat me cruelly until my

father stopped him. My father then tied my hands

behind my back, and I stayed like that for three weeks.

He ordered that I should be given food only once a day,

but when he was away, my mother gave me food.

One day my father and his younger brother came

home, along with a blacksmith. My uncle asked me to

confess the Muslim creed again before my father. The

words would not come out of my mouth. My mother,

sisters, and others shouted at me to recite it, but still I

could not. I do not know what happened to me. I could

not speak. Finally, my father ordered the blacksmith to

place two iron shackles and a chain on my legs and lock

16

it. I was chained up like this for the next six weeks. My

former friend Abdulla, who had torn up his booklet,

visited me and asked me what had made me do this. He

knew it was the booklet! I did not answer him, but as I

lay chained, I remembered the words of the Holy

Gospel:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in

God; trust also in me." John 14:1

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth

will set you free." John 8:32

When I looked at my chains, was I mocking myself in

recalling these words of Jesus? Perhaps it is in such hard

circumstances as these that we best experience the com-

fort of Jesus. He was very near to me, even more so than

when I secretly read these words from the Gospel in the

forest.

GOD DELIVERS ME

After six weeks I escaped. My mother's cousin helped

me. One day, when no one else was at home, he broke

open the chains. From that time on, I was allowed to be

free since no one wanted to chain me again. In fact, my

family and relatives treated me kindly. For two weeks I

remained at home. Yet I wondered why I should live in a

home and community that created more fear than peace

in my heart. I made up my mind to leave.

17

One day, after my noon meal, I looked at my mother's

face and my eyes filled with tears — for my mother did

not know my plan. It was my farewell to my home. I told

my mother I was going to take a bath and left the house.

May God forgive me for telling this and other lies that I

should never have told! I walked nearly ten miles to a

railway station TIRUR and caught a train to the city of

Calicut, thirty miles away. There I wandered about

looking for work. At last I found a job in a cafe. But my

life continued to be very unsettled.

Later I learned that during my imprisonment, my

Christian friends shared my sufferings. They were pray-

ing for me and trying to find some way of helping me but

could not. In the meantime, Muslim religious leaders

commanded the people to stay away from the Christian

Mission Compound and to withdraw their children from

the nursery school. My friends were attacked by name

over the loudspeaker. Guards were placed at the com-

pound gates to see that no one entered. Muslims were

allowed to go only to attend the Christian dispensary for

treatment. Soon, however, the situation returned to

normal. Over another loudspeaker someone called out,

"Let us stop troubling the Christians and pay more

attention to the works of Allah!" After some weeks the

trouble ended.

The owner of the cafe, a Muslim, was not pleased

when I enrolled in another Bible correspondence course.

I continued to work in the cafe for five months. Then I

left Calicut and went to my sister's home in Mysore.

There I wrote a letter to my friend George who told my

18

other friends. This was the first news they had that God

had delivered me from my chains. I ended my letter with

the words, "I am all right. I keep praying the Lord's

Prayer."

After working a year at Mysore with my brother-in-

law and another eighteen months on a merchant ship out

of Calicut, I returned to my own area. Again I met my

friend and other friends who were happy to see me. I

could not meet the missionary because he had returned

to his homeland. From there I returned to Mysore where

my brother-in-law employed me in his hotel. Then

through his recommendation I obtained an apprentice's

post as a lineman in the telegraph department. But again

misfortune struck. Hip trouble forced me to give up this

job.

I decided to return to Malabar for medical treatment.

By this time my friend was working in a mission hospital.

He helped me obtain a medical examination. The

missionary, who had now come back to India, was very

glad to see me and asked about all that had happened to

me while I was in chains and during my wanderings. He

told me that many people had been praying for me. Then

he gave me an introduction to another missionary who

could help me with my physical problem. I was very

happy to meet this new friend. Later he became one of

my spiritual fathers, and his wife became my spiritual

mother. With the help of this missionary and a doctor, I

was able to go for treatment to the Christian Medical

College Hospital in Vellore.

After I returned from the hospital, I joined the India

19

Every Home Crusade at Mysore for three months. In

this way I could distribute tracts and share the good news

of Christ. When my sister and her husband came to

know about this, however, they were angry and forbade

me to come to their house. The missionary then found a

place for me to stay with a Christian pastor and his

family at Gundulupet. It was a wonderful experience to

be with them, and I had the opportunity to study Chris-

tian doctrine for four months. After this I joined a

bookmobile project with the India Evangelical Lutheran

Church and spent a year distributing Christian books in

different parts of South India. God was leading me into

his service.

I was eager to study the Bible in more detail, so I

joined a one year Bible course at Concordia Seminary,

Nagercoil, in June, 1970.1 remember how glad I was to

have this chance to study the Bible! In the library there I

also found many good books on Islam which helped me

to clear many of my doubts.

FINDING THE LIGHT

Now at college I was able to study, and I concentrated

on the Person and work of Christ. I did this by studying

again the passages in the Qur'an that spoke of Christ in

the light of my growing faith in Jesus and increasing

knowledge of the Bible.

One of my chief doubts concerned the sinlessness of

Jesus and his authority to forgive the sins of others. It

20

was difficult to avoid the contrast between the sinlessness

of Jesus and the Quranic records of the sins of the other

prophets. Thus the Qur'an, addressing Muhammad in

particular, says:

"That God may forgive thee thy former and thy latter

sins, and complete His blessing upon thee, and guide

thee on a straight path." (48:2) (CF: 40:55; 47:19)

Since no laden soul can bear another's burden (35:18)

then how can he or anyone of these prophets bear an-

other's burden?

But the Qur'an^quoting the angel Jibra'il, says of

Mary's son:

"He said, I am only a messenger of thy Lord, that I

may bestow on thee a faultless son." (19:19)

This fact is supported by a Hadith which says: "Each

human baby is touched by Satan's finger at birth, save

Mariam and her son."

The Injil also clearly indicates the purity and sinless-

ness of Jesus. "Can any of you prove me guilty of Sin? If

I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me?"

21

(John 8:46) The Injil further states that he takes away

our sins:

"Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is

lawlessness. But you know that he (Jesus) appeared to

take away our sins. And in him is no sin." (1 John 3:4,5)

Was it in order to bear the burdens of others that Jesus

himself was an unburdened soul? Though the Qur'an

declares Jesus as pure, it really offers no clue to the

purpose of God in bestowing upon Mary a faultless son.

Further the Qur'an attributes qualities to Jesus which

it attributes to no other prophets or apostles. He is

described as God's Word and a spirit from God:

"O People of the Scripture! Do not exaggerate in your

religion, nor utter aught concerning Allah save the truth.

The Messiah Jesus son of Mary, was only a messenger of

Allah, and His Word, which He conveyed unto Mary,

and a spirit from Him. So believe in Allah and His

22

messenger and say not 'Three' — Cease! (it is) better for

you! — Allah is only One God..." (4:171)

Thus also the angel Jibra'il addresses Mary with the

following words:

"... He said: So (it will be). Thy Lord saith: It is easy

for Me. And (it will be that We may make of him a

revelation for mankind and a mercy from Us, and it is a

thing ordained." (19:21 cf. 21:91)

Whatever else the Qur'an has stated about Jesus, it

surely has established him as a unique person: his rela-

tion to God as God's Word and a spirit from God; his

creative activities, his healings, his raising of the dead

(3:49); his ascension into heaven and his presence in

heaven today.

Through further study I also began to understand

how the Biblical significance of the term "son of God"

differs from the Quranic understanding of "son of God."

The Qur'an denies that God begets, or is begotten, in a

physical sense (Lam yalidwa lamyulad). In this sense the

Bible also rejects the term "son of God"-. Eventually,

however, I accepted that Jesus could be called "the Son

of God" (as the Bible explains this term) in a spiritual

23

sense, in the same way that he is called God's Word.

Here again I was grateful to the Qur'an for serving as a

bridge to a fuller comprehension of the Biblical signifi-

cance of the term "Son of God" when uniquely applied

to Jesus.

No doubt, on the basis of Surat un-Nissa, Muslims

have rejected the Biblical account of Jesus' death, res-

urrection and ascension:

"And because of their saying: We slew the Messiah

Jesus son of Mary, Allah's messenger — They slew him

not nor crucified, but it appeared so unto them; and lo!

those who disagree concerning it are in doubt thereof;

they have no knowledge thereof save pursuit of a con-

jecture; they slew him not for certain..." (4:157-159)

Elsewhere, of course, the Qur'an refers to the death of

Jesus. But Muslim expositors offer conflicting opinions

on some of these relevant verses. The following are

significant passages, as translated by Pickthall:

24

"Peace on me the day I was born, and the day I die,

and the day I shall be raised alive!" (19:33)

"(And remember) when Allah said: O Jesus! Lo! I am

gathering thee and causing thee to ascend unto Me, and

am cleansing thee~of those who disbelieve and am setting

those who follow thee above those who disbelieve until

the Day of Resurrection. Then unto Me ye will (all)

return, and I am judge between you as to that wherein ye

used to differ." (3:55)

"I spake unto them only that which Thou command-

est me, (saying) Worship Allah, my Lord and your Lord.

I was a witness of them while I dwelt among them, and

when Thou tookest me Thou wast the Watcher over

them. Thou art Witness over all things." (5:117)

25

But is Picktall's interpretation of mutawaffika ("I am

gathering thee": 3:55) and tawaffaitani ("Thou tookest

me": 5:117) correct? Some respectable Muslim commen-

taries translate this verb: "to cause to die," indicating

that the death of Jesus preceded his ascension into

heaven.

In any event the Biblical accounts leave no room for

various interpretations about the time, place and circum-

stances of Jesus' death. He was crucified, he died, and he

was buried. His crucifixion took place outside the walls

of Jerusalem. It happened when Pilate was governor of

Judea. These are facts of history. The Bible repeatedly

refers to the death of Jesus in unambiguous language.

Just as clear in the Bible is the connection of the death'of

Jesus with his resurrection from the dead and his ascen-

sion, as well as the intent of these three great events in his

life.

Thus these and other passages of the Qur'an became

clear to me in the light of my reflection on the New

Testament portrayal of Christ. Not only did all these

passages reveal the special relation which Jesus had with

God; surely they indicated also God's special purpose in

sending Jesus, his Word and Servant, into this sinful

world. Once more I recalled the booklet, "The Heart of

Pak." I concluded that God has spoken his word of

forgiveness to all sinners through Jesus alone, through

his death on the cross and his resurrection from the dead.

As I read the Bible more and more, it spoke to me and

cleared my doubts, one by one.

Yet this question perplexed my mind: What about

26

Muhammad whose coming, according to the Qur'an,

Jesus had prophesied?

"And when Jesus son of Mary said: O Children of

Israel! Lo! I am the messenger of Allah unto you,

confirming that which was (revealed) before me in the

Torah, and bringing good tidings of a messenger who

cometh after me, whose name is the Praised One. Yet

when he hath come unto them with clear proofs, they

say: This is mere magic." (61:6)

The Arabic for "Praised One" is ahmad, which has the

same root meaning as Muhammad. Does this passage not

mean that Jesus prophesied the coming of Muhammad?

That is what I had been taught and believed.

I examined the Bible to see what it says about Mu-

hammad, but I could find nothing. I asked my professors

the^ame question and they too said that there is nothing.

But when I looked into a Muslim commentary on the

Qur'an, it quoted several Bible passages in support of

this understanding of Surah 61:6. The main passage

quoted was:

"And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you

another counsellor, to be with you forever." (John 14:16)

27

The Greek word for Counsellor is Parakletos. (Greek

is the original language of the Injil.) The commentator

said that the original Greek word was perikultos, which

means "Praised One." Christians, he said, substituted

Parakletos for Periklutos to remove the reference to the

prophet Muhammad.

I did not know Greek, and since it was really difficult

for me to give up faith in Muhammad, I felt really

troubled. Muhammad still held a great place in my heart,

and I found it hard to give up that belief in him as a

prophet. I asked the Greek professor about these words.

He replied that the word periklutos is not in the Greek

text of St. John. He then explained clearly the original

Biblical word, Parakletos, and how the promise of Jesus

(John 14:16) was fulfilled by the coming of the Holy

Spirit (Acts 2:1-11) who lives always with God's people

as their Comforter and Guide.

I placed the problem before God and asked him to

give me clear understanding. One night, after I had

prayed and gone to bed, I could not sleep. I heard a voice

or felt as though I had heard a voice. It said, "Get up and

read!" I thought it was only my imagination. But I heard

it again and again. I got up and opened my Bible. Several

times I read the passage in John 14:15-17:

"If you love me, you will obey what I

command. I will ask the Father, and he will give

you another Counsellor to be with you for ever

— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept

28

him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.

But you know him, for he lives with you and

will be in you."

As I read these verses, many questions came into my

mind. Did you read in the Qur'an or Hadith, I asked

myself, that Muhammad is the Spirit of truth who is

always with you, a Counsellor whom the world cannot

see nor know, or who lives inside you? Then I realized

that these words do not contain any prophecy of a

coming prophet and cannot possibly be applied to any

human being. Moreover, I remembered the fulfillment

of that prophecy in Acts 2:1-11, during the life of the

first believers in Christ. Now I understood this great

truth. The Counsellor whom Jesus promised is the Holy

Spirit, the eternal Spirit of the Living God, not the angel

Jibra'il.

Later I experienced the power of the Holy Spirit in my

own life. Through him I came to Christ. Glory to God!

Amen!

I continued to read the Holy Bible with care and

attention. In it I found treasure such as I had never

dreamed of — it has the power to speak to those who

really want to find God's revelation and guidance. It

showed me my real self, my sinful and guilty heart, and

showed me also that I was spiritually blind. It asked me

to bring all my sins and problems to God in the name of

Jesus the Messiah. He came to this world searching for

me! He died for my sins and rose again; he went up to

29

heaven, and he will come again. I became convinced that

the Holy Bible is indeed the Word of God.

The Holy Bible brought the answers to the problems

which worried me. Its living water was able to satisfy my

soul. What I had never found before in my religious

experience, I now discovered. I became sure that the

Holy Bible faithfully and accurately recorded the works

and teaching of Jesus — this mystery of God's eternal

Word coming into our world as man. Now I became

convinced of the truth of his death, resurrection, ascen-

sion, and second corning, which before I had not under-

stood and had even hated. The Bible contains the mes-

sage of God's power to save, and his love for me and all

men, and this brings us peace. This love of God focuses

sharply on Jesus, his death and resurrection for sinners

— as Paul, echoing Jesus and his other apostles, says in

the New Testament,

"For what I received I passed on to you as of

first importance: that Christ died for our sins

according to the Scriptures, that he was buried,

that he was raised on the third day according to

the Scriptures." I Corinthians 15:3, 4

No doubt, many Muslim friends will continue to think

that the Holy Bible is corrupt and abrogated by the

Qur'an.

Yet let him — especially if he is conscious of God's

holiness and his own sins — give serious thought to its

message. Then let him, as I have done, draw his own

conclusions.

30

A GREAT DECISION

On July 19,1970,1 surrendered to Jesus the Messiah. I

confessed all my sins and my doubts, and by baptism I

was joined to him and his forgiving love. My whole body

trembled. I could feel divine power entering into me. I

rose from my knees a changed man with peace in my

soul, joy in my heart, and assurance in my mind. And

today I still have that same joy, hope, and assurance.

Although I could not explain it, in my heart I believed

that all my sins were washed away through the precious

blood of Jesus Christ, that I had received power for a

new life of love, and that the Lord Jesus himself was

reigning in my heart.

IN HIS SERVICE

Soon the opportunity came to work with a group

called Operation Mobilization. This gave me a chance to

go to different parts of India to tell the Good News. I

continued to do this for about two years. During that

time I learned more about what it means to be a follower

of Jesus. I am grateful to the Lord and to my friends in

Operation Mobilization who gave me the opportunity to

work with them. They helped me during difficult times.

Later I went back to Concordia Theological Seminary

and completed my theological studies in 1975.

My present concern is to bring the Good News of

God's light to my own people wherever they are, espe-

31

daily in my own area. May they accept the invitation of

Jesus Christ which he gives to all to know the great

Salvation of God.

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No^-

one comes to the Father except through me."

John 14:6

"Now this is eternal life: that they may know

you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ,

whom you have sent." John 17:3

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows

me will never walk in darkness, but will have

the light of life." John 8:12

CONCLUSION

I have accepted Jesus Christ as my own Savior. He has

been able to change my life to a real life of happiness,

peace, and hope. He has been able to give me strength in

my weakness. As the living Lord, he comes into my life

to give it new purpose, and promises me life in heaven

that will never end. I know that I belong to God's

heavenly family. I believe what David, the great prophet

and king, said, "Though my father and mother forsake

me, the Lord will receive me" (Psalm 27:10).

In all my troubles, doubts and temptations it is

enough to look into his face. In times when I have been

lonely, tired, and disappointed, I have praised him for

his grace.

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Jesus said:

"You did not choose me, but I chose you to go

and bear fruit — fruit that will last. Then the

Father will give you whatever you ask in my

name." John 15:16

I did not choose him, but he chose me. Through him

the story of Pak has become the story of Alavi. To God

be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

If I can help you, please write to me at this address:

Markaz Ul Bishara P.O. Box 18

Manjeri 676121 -Kerala, S.India

In an acceptable time

I have heard you,

and in the

DAY OF SALVATION

I have helped you.

is the day of

SALVATION.

2. Corinthians 6:2

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In Search of Assurance